What is forgiveness?  It is certainly not the word itself.  To utter these words might take real effort, but doing so does not equate to the release of the feelings themselves, and on the flip side, the release of these emotions do not require you to even have any contact with the person(s) whom you need to forgive.  There is no "fake it 'til you make it" with forgiveness.  Ultimately, Forgiveness is a gift you give Yourself. It is the ultimate Freedom to let go and move on. You realize your happiness is more important than being stuck in blame. It is your choice to remove yourself from this cycle.  Forgiveness doesn't let the other person "off the hook", it literally saves yourself.

Now, blame is the ultimate victim mentality that gets you first stuck in heavy thought patterns, that can create disease (dis-ease). You can consciously decide now that you want to remove yourself from this blame cycle. 

Become Aware. Sometimes we need a pattern breaker to change our thought patterns. 

Our thoughts are like a song on a record player. If we can notice when it starts skipping, we can bump it into a new groove.  When we do this over and over again, it can create a new harmonious tone, and skipping to the past becomes less and less of an issue.  We can think the thoughts, but with awareness, you don't have to focus anywhere you don't want to. You will prefer harmony and acceptance over heavy negativity. That is where forgiveness is genuinely created—with the decision that your happiness is more important than being stuck in the vibration of blame, guilt, anger, or hatred. You can accept it and choose to release it.

Self-forgiveness: This may be even more challenging than forgiving others.  You may be your toughest critic, and you often expect much more of yourself than others expect from you. The opposite of forgiveness is judgment. With awareness that you may be judging “what is”, you can shift into a state of consistent, non-judging grace?  Grace for your and other's beautiful imperfections. Expecting perfection from yourself and others sets us up for heartbreak and disappointment every time. We are all constantly on a journey of self-healing and discovery, and sometimes the most growth happens in messy situations of our own making. Take a deep breath. Close your eyes, feel the judgment’s location, and imagine that emotion pouring out of you. By letting go, you shift your organs into higher healing frequencies! What if you approached every connection with that understanding. Approaching life with no expectations. Remembering that you are doing the best you can allows you to approach every encounter with grace and kindness.